we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
