i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
