we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
