I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
