I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
