woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize