Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
