it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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