He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
