sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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