I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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