38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
