i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
