Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
