My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
