dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
