I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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