shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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