love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
