i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
