God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my shit smells like andre
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
