I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
