is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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