Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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