She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize