IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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