So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She bit a glass in half.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
