Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
