so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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