none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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