3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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