then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
