Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i permit you to call me
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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