Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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