you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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