This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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