So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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