we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Randomize
