Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
