Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
