He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
