Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize