Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
