I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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