Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
