Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
