Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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