How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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