OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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