I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
