i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm passing your future prison.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
