can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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