I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize