Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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