I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
