i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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