are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
