I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
