I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Come share oat with me in your robe
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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