i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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