I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
