Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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