Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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